


Flowing with Milk and Honey

by inabathrobe



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Food Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-25
Updated: 2010-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inabathrobe/pseuds/inabathrobe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrian gets cranky when decaffeinated.  Dan fixes this problem the only way he knows how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flowing with Milk and Honey

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally posted to the Kink Meme.](http://spam-monster.livejournal.com/4155.html?thread=11499579#t11499579)
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> Content notes: fat shaming (although fat character doesn't give a fuck) and other instances of Adrian behaving badly

Adrian is cranky. Dan can't decide if the coffee hasn't taken the edge off of it yet (highly possible; Adrian sent his espresso machine to be fixed last week and it hasn't come back yet, so it's just drip coffee for a week) or if something is wrong at the company (Adrian refuses to involve Dan in any of his various and sundry business dealings or to give him any information on the state of Veidt Industries at all most of the time) or Adrian is just having a bad day.

When Adrian Veidt has a bad day, the entire world suffers with him.

When Adrian slams a plate down on the countertop, Dan winces. Without turning (and how Adrian knows that Dan is cringing is beyond him), Adrian snaps, "What!"

"Nothing." Dan sips his coffee. It's fine. Admittedly, fine for Dan is different from fine for Adrian because Adrian talks about coffee like some people talk about wine. Dan isn't sure how coffee can be fruity, but he doesn't really care to know. He eyes his plate, mostly empty, and wonders if there's any bacon left in the pan. He gets up, shuffles over to the stove, and retrieves the last three slices, hoping that this won't offend Adrian in some way.

He makes it all the way back to his chair before Adrian comes out with, "You're absolutely disgusting, do you know that?"

Dan looks at Adrian's back, crooking one eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Adrian turns. Dan wishes he hadn't. "It's disgusting the way you eat everything in sight. Do you know how much fat there is in bacon? I can practically watch your arteries clanging shut as you scarf it down." Adrian sips his coffee. Dan opens his mouth to try to derail this train of thought. Adrian adds, "You could stand to lose about sixty pounds, Dan."

Dan stares at him across the small kitchen table, hand tightening on his fork. "Thank you, Adrian." He stabs a piece of bacon with his fork and sticks it in his mouth. Adrian's mouth curls into a sneer. "I find that sweaters do not require the same standards of physical perfection as owl suits do." Dan wonders how long they have been having this argument. Years now. Oh, Adrian.

"Really, do you think that I want to fuck a pig? It's _vile_." Dan smiles cryptically, already knowing the answer to this question. "Why are you looking so damn pleased with yourself?"

Dan finishes his strip of bacon. "No particular reason. Your hair looks good this morning, though."

"I will not be distracted!"

"When I'm done with my bacon, I'll have a piece of fruit or something." Dan considers how furious Adrian would be if he fried a few bananas. He could stick them in a pancake or something. "Aren't you going to eat breakfast?"

"I suddenly find that I've lost my appetite."

"Would you stop behaving like such a child?" Dan gets up, huffs over to Adrian's ridiculous fruit bowl, and pulls a pear out of it, which he hurls at Adrian who catches it with one hand. "Eat." Dan considers the fruit bowl, decides that fried bananas are a go, and pulls out three that look particularly ripe.

"Is healthy food really so wholly foreign to you that you couldn't tell that this wasn't ripe?" Dan doesn't respond. He gets butter out of the fridge and puts it in a clean pan, letting it sputter and hiss on the flame. "What are you doing?"

Dan slices the bananas as the butter melts and then puts each long slice in, watching the melting butter jump. "Cooking." It only takes a few minutes during which Adrian is, he is sure, sullenly eating the pear (it is ripe, which he knows because he _checked_ ). He carefully shuttles them onto a plate and turns off the stove. "Hungry yet?"

What Adrian has done with the pear, Dan isn't sure. It's entirely gone. Adrian still looks cross and huffy, which isn't unexpected. "No."

"Well, all right." Dan sits back down and sticks the first sweet, sticky bite in his mouth. Adrian stares at him in sharp disbelief. Dan grins. "It's good! You should try some."

Adrian groans. "Your eating habits are unbelievable."

Dan shrugs. "I don't complain about your eating muesli most mornings."

"It's healthy," Adrian says dismissively.

"Do shut up."

Adrian glares at him. Dan has won, he knows. Adrian gets up and stalks around the table. Dan stares beneficently up at him and sticks a piece of banana into his mouth. Adrian bends down, shoves Dan's jaws open, and presses his mouth over Dan's.

Adrian tastes like the pear he pretended not to eat, and his lips are sticky, and Dan cups Adrian's chin the way he likes. Adrian pulls away, half embarrassed. Dan tilts his head. "Are you wearing anything under that ridiculous bathrobe?"

"Not particularly."

Adrian Veidt is an absolute lunatic.

Dan picks up a piece of banana and sticks it into Adrian's open mouth. "Eat." Adrian does. Dan grumbles over to the pantry, cursing pompous boyfriends and the damn espresso machine. When he turns back, the purple bathrobe is on the ground and Adrian is on the table. Dan shakes his head. Adrian is hopeless. After making a trip to the fridge, he sets everything else he's gotten onto the table next to Adrian. He pulls out a bottle of honey. Adrian gives him a look of horror. Dan screws off the unhelpful cap. "Shut your eyes."

Adrian does, tilting his head back slightly. Dan pours it onto Adrian's forehead first, watching him gasp. It oozes down, slides over his eyes and his nose and his cheeks and occasionally his lips. Dan watches his tongue dart out and lick a little off. He pours it lower, watching it slowly drip off Adrian's chin and land on his chest. He pours it onto Adrian's chest and lets it run down. Adrian squirms.

"Dan, I can't open my eyes."

"I know."

Adrian whimpers. "But I want to watch you."

Dan sighs, leans forward, and licks the honey off Adrian's eyes. Adrian shivers as Dan's tongue runs over his eyelids and his cheekbones, careful to get all of it. "All right. Open your eyes."

Adrian does. He looks down in horror. " _Dan_."

Dan smiles at him. He slices an apple and presses a slice over each of Adrian's nipples. Adrian's hands, still clean, fuss with the buttons on Dan's shirt (if he had known, he wouldn't have bothered getting dressed), making little headway. Dan stops to help him, and, between the two of them, he is soon undressed. Adrian scoots forward, hopeful. Dan kisses him lightly, bends, and eats one of the apple slices off Adrian's chest, licking away the honey underneath it. Adrian digs his fingers into Dan's shoulders and whimpers as Dan sucks at his nipple.

Dan scrabbles for the ice cream, a half-eaten melting pint of chocolate from Haagendasz, and scoops some out with his fingers. He presses it to Adrian's heated skin and watches him squirm. Adrian pulls his hand away and licks each of Dan's fingers clean, his tongue running along them and between them and his lips sucking on the pads of Dan's fingers. Dan is very aroused and very hard, but Adrian isn't getting off this easily. He bends down and licks the rest of the chocolate ice cream away, Adrian thrusting ineffectually against him and whimpering softly. Dan straightens.

"Sit forward."

Adrian does, letting his legs dangle over the side. Dan gets the little carton of cream, still cold and mostly full, and sets it next to Adrian. He unwraps a stick of butter and softens some of it in his hands before rubbing it generously over his cock. "Spread your legs." Adrian does. Dan pushes in all the way, and Adrian wraps his arms around Dan's neck. Picking up the carton of cream again, he pours it over Adrian's head. It runs down him cold, and he feels Adrian shudder against him. Dan pushes Adrian down onto the table, now covered in cream and honey as well and, pulling back, thrusts into him again. He thrusts quickly, knowing that he won't last long.

"You can touch yourself," he says and watches Adrian run a hand from just below his bellybutton to his chin. He watches Adrian lick it methodically clean and then watches him stroke his chest again before curling his hand around his cock. Adrian yanks hard on his own cock, slower than Dan is fucking him, and Dan slows his thrusts, so that they are in time, thrusting in harder. Adrian curls his legs around Dan and tries to pull him closer. Dan pulls out and comes hard on Adrian's stomach and the hand on his cock.

Dan wraps his hand around Adrian's fist, and their hands move together, Adrian murmuring softly. He whispers Dan's s\name, and reaching forward, Dan picks up his own cup of coffee, still a bit hot, and pours it over Adrian's belly. He comes in their hands with a single sob.

Afterward, Adrian sits up. "I think I need a shower."

"Me, too."

Adrian leans forward and licks honey off Dan's collarbone. "Carry me." Dan, rolling his eyes, does.


End file.
